Hi there, it’s Jill!

Today, I want to talk about happiness — why it is a choice, not something that is given to us, and how it can be cultivated by just one person: you.

Over the past 12 years of studying and working abroad, I have encountered countless moments that felt confusing or deeply frustrating. But with time, I realized that I didn’t have to suffer as much as I did, even when the situation was objectively hard.

So today, let’s break down some common myths about happiness and explore how we can choose to be happier, no matter where we are in life.

Many of us believe that happiness comes after we accomplish something:

We get caught in a cycle of chasing happiness, only to find that the joy we feel in these moments is fleeting. The dopamine fades, and we move on to the next goal, hoping it will finally bring lasting fulfillment.

But here’s the truth: happiness isn’t something given to you only after you achieve something. It’s a mindset you can choose, regardless of what stage you are in.

You might be thinking:

“Jill, you don’t understand what I’m going through. I’ve worked so hard, and things still aren’t falling into place. How am I supposed to be happy when I feel so stressed and anxious?”

I hear you. Let me share a story that shaped my perspective.

When I was preparing for the CFA Level III exam — the most challenging of the three levels — I was balancing a full-time job while studying nearly 300 hours for a six-hour exam.

I planned to take the exam in June 2020, but the pandemic hit, postponing it to December. I adjusted my schedule, only to have it postponed again to May 2021. In total, I spent nearly 18 months preparing, reviewing thousands of pages of material, and readjusting my study plan each time.

It was exhausting and, honestly, frustrating.

If I had to do it again, I would still pursue the CFA designation. But this time, I would choose to approach it with less anger and suffering. I would see it as:

In other words, the situation didn’t have to be as painful as I made it. I could have chosen to see the positive side and allowed myself to feel inner peace, even in the midst of challenge.

Happiness is a choice. You don’t need to wait until your commitment is over to experience it.

Another myth about happiness is believing it depends on others adjusting their behavior first. When people are inconsiderate or arrogant, it’s easy to let their actions dictate how we feel.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

How others behave reflects them, not you. Trying to fit yourself into someone else’s expectations or letting their opinions define your worth will only drain your energy.

Over time, I have learned to focus on the people and relationships that truly matter and to let go of the rest. It’s a hard-earned skill, but it’s worth practicing.

Pursuing happiness is not a destination; it’s a lifelong practice. You don’t have to wait for life to be perfect to feel happiness. You can start today, exactly where you are.

The more you practice choosing joy, even in small moments, the more resilient and peaceful you will become.

Cheers to your journey.

— Jill

Founder of Anchor Growth Newsletter

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