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Hey there, it’s Jill!

Have you ever wondered what truly drives people’s decision-making — especially during major career pivots?

Broadly speaking, we go through two major phases of growth in our lives. In today’s post, I’ll unpack what these phases are, why they exist, and most importantly, how each of them shapes the way we make decisions in both personal and professional life.

Let’s dive in!

The first phase of growth begins in childhood, and its core characteristic is mimicry.

Before we fully understand who we are and what we want, we naturally mimic the world around us. We look to our parents, teachers, and early role models because they represent a version of life that seems to “work.”

We’re placed in structured education systems alongside peers, where the path forward is mostly predefined: Study hard. Aim high. Perform well. Get recognized.

With enough consistency, this system rewards us — with grades, praise, leadership roles, and early career opportunities.

But the truth is: everyone is born different — with unique drives, desires, and visions for life.

Even with the best intentions, those who supported us early on may not share our long-term goals or our deeper purpose. In this early phase, we internalize their beliefs and align with their expectations — often without ever asking, whether that’s what we want.

Eventually, we hit a wall. What used to work… no longer feels right.

We’re still being rewarded — titles, salaries, promotions — and on paper, everything looks great. Our lives match the expectations of our parents, peers, or society at large.

But internally? Something starts to feel missing.

At first, it’s subtle. We push it aside and keep going. But over time, the hollowness grows louder. We feel disconnected, exhausted but unsure why.

We lie in bed wondering:

If you’ve felt this way, you’re not alone. This tension is a painful but necessary part of transitioning to the second phase of growth.

Because something — often a version of yourself you’ve outgrown — is about to be left behind.

The second phase begins when your desires become clearer.

You might not have your next 50 years planned out — but you begin to recognize what brings you genuine satisfaction, what motivates you, and what invites real joy and peace.

This phase do require significant effort, and often great pain, to arrive. There’s no shortcut to these realizations. They usually emerge when discomfort forces us to pause and reflect.

Even if you’re not ready to act immediately — because of financial responsibilities, family obligations, etc. — something fundamental shifts.

At this point…

This is growth with intention - not momentum, and it’s more powerful compared with the last one.

Personal growth isn’t always loud or dramatic.
Sometimes, it’s the quiet shift from “What should I do?” to “What do I want?”

The journey from imitation to intention is rarely linear. It’s often marked by discomfort, deep reflection, and quiet realizations about who we are, and what actually matters.

Welcome to the journey of continuous evolvement!

Cheers,

— Jill

Founder of Anchor Growth Newsletter